What is Unconditional Love?

I wrote a whole book about bringing Unconditional Love into Business. I thought I knew what it meant. During these last month’s sailing across the Pacific Islands I’m starting to realize that my concept of Unconditional Love was mostly mental. I understood it with my mind. I could explain it, teach it and write about it, but I hadn’t fully experienced it. Connecting so deeply with the locals in the different islands across the Pacific has allowed me to see with my own eyes, but most importantly to feel with my own heart, what Unconditional Love really is.

This morning, I woke up to a message from my friend Kyra asking me, “Jordi, what is Unconditional Love? Not Google. Not ChatGPT. You.”

Looking back now, I believe the Universe sent me that question through Kyra at exactly the right moment. It was time for me to reflect on everything I had experienced over these past months. When I started trying to answer her question, I was surprised by how difficult it became. I couldn’t find the words. At first, I thought that meant I didn’t know the answer, but then I realized it was exactly the opposite. I knew exactly what Unconditional Love felt like. I just couldn’t reduce it to words.

Because Unconditional Love isn’t really a definition. It’s a state of being, a state of consciousness, a frequency, an energy, something that can only truly be understood when you experience it, because the moment you meet someone who genuinely embodies it you don’t need them to explain it to you. Something inside of you immediately recognizes it. Your own heart opens. You feel inspired. You leave thinking, I want to become more like that person.

And that’s exactly what has been happening to me over and over again during this voyage.

I’ve met people living on islands inhabited by only two individuals, like Maupihaa, where a mother and her son have chosen to live there. I’ve met families in Palmerston, where only around thirty-eight people live. I’ve spent time in villages with just some hundreds of residents like Hapatoni, Fatu Hiva, Nuku Hiva, and on islands like Aitutaki in the Cook Islands and Niue with some thousands of residents. Different cultures, different islands, different ways of living, yet everywhere I went I kept experiencing exactly the same feeling.

There is something they all seem to share, especially in the smallest communities where tourism is almost nonexistent.

There is only one version of them. They don’t need to become one person for tourists, another for work, another for social media, another for friends and another for family. They simply are who they are, and somehow that authenticity carries an incredible amount of love.

I remember asking the woman in Maupihaa why she had chosen to live there with her 4 year old son. She simply smiled and said, “Because I feel connected here. Connected to nature. Connected to the ocean. Connected to the animals. I love it here.“As she spoke, it wasn’t really her words that moved me. It was her energy. Her smile. You could feel her heart speaking. Later, when I hugged her goodbye, I could literally feel that energy. It’s difficult to explain because it isn’t something you understand with your mind. You feel it.

And then something started becoming obvious to me.

These people don’t seem to calculate every interaction. Their minds aren’t constantly asking, If I do this, what will I get in return? They welcome you into their homes, spend hours with you, offer you food, share stories and introduce you to their families, giving you what, in our Western world, has become one of the most valuable things we have: their time.

And they don’t seem to put a price on it.

Because the moment we put a value on our time, on ourselves or on what we give, it immediately becomes an exchange. Unconditional Love doesn’t calculate. It doesn’t keep score. It doesn’t expect to be paid back.

Our Western mind almost can’t understand it at first. We immediately wonder, What do they want in return? or How can I repay them? But after experiencing this over and over again on different islands, you slowly realize there isn’t another agenda. This is simply who they are.

And that’s when I started questioning something much deeper.

Maybe Unconditional Love isn’t about doing loving things.

Maybe it’s about becoming someone who naturally lives from that place.

We often associate love with taking care of people, charity, volunteering or giving back, and those are beautiful expressions of love. But I don’t think Unconditional Love begins there. I think it begins much earlier. It begins with doing the inner work necessary to remove everything that prevents us from becoming who we truly are.

All the fears.

All the conditioning.

All the expectations.

All the identities we’ve built trying to become who our parents, our friends, society, our coworkers or our investors expect us to be.

Because once we reconnect with who we truly are, love doesn’t need to be forced anymore.

It simply starts flowing.The biggest realization I’ve had during this voyage is that I’m no longer trying to understand these people.

I’m trying to become like them.

Not because of where they live or how little they own.

From the outside, many people would never choose their lives. Some live in simple metal houses. They collect rainwater. They fish every day. They raise chickens and pigs. Supply ships sometimes arrive only every few months. Looking only at a photograph, many people in the Western world would feel sorry for them.

But after spending time with them, eating with them, laughing with them, hugging them and simply being present with them, you begin wondering if perhaps they possess something many of us have slowly lost.

A deep connection with themselves.

A deep connection with nature.

A deep connection with the present moment.

A deep connection with life itself.

And from that connection, love naturally emerges.

The more I reflect on these months in the Pacific, the more I realize that Unconditional Love is contagious, far more contagious than fear. When someone genuinely embodies that state of being, you can’t help but feel it. Their presence changes something inside of you. You don’t leave wanting what they have. You leave wanting to become who they are, because you can literally feel the peace, the joy and the openness that comes from living with a heart that isn’t constantly calculating, protecting itself or expecting something in return.

That’s a much greater gift than anything material.

You can give someone a million dollars and completely change their circumstances. But if, through your own way of being, you inspire someone to reconnect with their own heart, you may change the entire direction of their life. That is the gift these people have given me, and I honestly believe it has a much deeper impact than anything money alone can buy.

So when Kyra asked me, “What is Unconditional Love?” I couldn’t answer with a definition.

Right now, after reflecting all morning, if I had to answer her, I would simply say this.

Unconditional Love is a state of being where you become so deeply connected with yourself, with nature, with others and with life that your heart naturally begins leading your life instead of your mind.

And maybe that’s why it’s so difficult to define.

Because Unconditional Love isn’t something you understand.

It isn’t even something you do.

It’s something you become.